I had another appointment with Bob yesterday.
He seems very pleased with my progress. So much so that at one point he suggested that we switch from every other week to having a monthly "check-in". I flipped out. Here is a tidbit of our conversation:
"But I'm still depressed!"
"Tell me what you mean by that."
"I still don't like myself or my life, and I'm not happy about things that would make a 'normal' person happy."
"Interesting. What don't you like about yourself?"
"I'm lazy, I procrastinate EVERYTHING, and I am incapable of finishing ANYTHING."
Bob asked me why I was like that. I said that I don't know why. He says that those are all definately symptoms of depression, and that at some point in the future we may discuss antidepressants, but for now we will continue sessions every other week.
He gave me some more advice about how to stay focused at work, including to always start with the boring stuff. Then reward myself for completing the dull tasks with completing the tasks that I somewhat enjoy. Also, work on limiting my internet time by using it as a reward system for completing certain amounts of work.
Now for the real reason of this post. Bob gave me an assignment. He said that since I said that I am incapable of finishing anything, I needed to be proven wrong. He wants me to make a list of all the things that I've accomplished in the last year. So, here goes:
1) I quit smoking, and stayed quit for an entire year.
2) I lost 40 pounds in a healthy way.
3) I realized that I could no longer deny my depression, and started seeing Bob.
4) I started, and have kept to, a budget.
5) I have saved over $2000 towards my future move to NYC.
6) I have resolved my relationship issues with Stacey, and we are officially a happy couple again!
7) I started seeing my Goddaughter on a regular basis, and am developing a close relationship with her.
Man, I was really hoping to find 10, but 7 will do for now.